Embrace the Adventure: Why New Year’s Resolutions Are Out and Bucket Lists Are In
The majority of life lessons have come to me when I’ve answered a child’s question without thinking. Those aha moments that come from within, like we’ve known it all along, but it isn’t until they’re spoken out loud that they have a profound effect on us.
New Year’s Day
For some reason, it became a tradition in our family to celebrate the changing of a year with a polar plunge. Lots of things have led to this, and depending on who you ask, they’ll probably all give you a different answer. My 90-year-old mother loves cold water—or let’s be real, she loves the attention (not that she would admit it). Probably an even bigger reality: she always said cold showers burned more calories. That’s a whole different topic for another day about how beliefs shape us.
A few things I do know: my mom likes to do what she wants. When my dad died, it was a really cold, snowy winter. Because we were living in Virginia, there was a significant period of time between the funeral and when we could bury him. During that time, my mom wanted to do the polar plunge. Cue the audible gasps and pearl-clutching. “You can’t do such a thing when your husband just passed away!” But in one of those speaking-without-thinking moments, she said, “I don’t want to become one of those widows that stops living.” It was all about her mindset. (Another topic for another post is all the things she’s done since then.)
I always playfully joke that we keep her alive by keeping her frozen with the help of a once-a-year dip into the cold ocean. We’ve since switched it up to a pool—which, unfortunately, is colder. Helping a 90-year-old in and out of the ocean when it’s freezing isn’t exactly a quick thing, and the younger generations don’t enjoy self-torture as much as the older ones.
The Birth of the Bucket List
One of the early years of the polar plunge—maybe even the first—one of my very young children asked, “Why don’t we just come back when it’s warmer?” A very innocent and valid question. My response: “Wouldn’t it be great to cross things off your bucket list while you’re really young?” “What’s a bucket list?”
From that conversation was born the Year of the Bucket List. My divorce had just been finalized the month before. I had five little kids and no money. We were going to try new recipes, explore new places, learn new skills—anything we could do to distract from the reality we were facing. Life becoming an adventure became our reality, and I’m not so sure the kids ever realized how hard things were at the time.
We ran a 5K, learned to play chess, learned to surf, visited all sorts of free or cheap museums and national parks. Quite honestly, I don’t even remember most of them—it just became our lifestyle.
One of the Most Memorable Moments
Watching Soul Surfer in the cheap movie theater on base for my 6-year-old’s birthday.
You know, the movie about Bethany Hamilton and her story of losing her arm in a shark attack. My sweet little birthday girl walked out of the theater and proclaimed she wanted to learn to surf.
Of course, my response was, “Did you just watch that movie?”
“Yeah, I just won’t surf where there are sharks!”
Can you argue with that?
Reflections on Resolutions
We don’t do New Year’s resolutions. Aren’t those really about telling ourselves we aren’t good enough or that we need to change something to be happy? Instead, we do a mindset refresher. Life is about living. I always say, “Life is about the stories we have to tell,” and, funny enough, life has said, “I’ll give you lots of stories, then.” Good, bad, or ugly—it’s all about how we view life and choose to tell our stories.
Last year, I compiled a list of 24 things to do in ‘24. I just wrote things without overthinking. I only completed 11 of the 24, but the experiences and opportunities that came to me made for an amazing year. The things I thought would never happen did, and some of the easier ones I didn’t get around to.
Am I a better person for it? Did I fail at my goals? I don’t know the answer to that, but I know I’m happy, and I’ve opened my arms to whatever experiences life throws my way.
I rode a train to New York, went to bartending school, visited Hawaii, Cancun, Switzerland, and Italy, sold handmade products at a farmers market, became a Notary, watched my daughter graduate, and polar plunged with my mother and daughter. So many things from my list—but also so many I never imagined.
This New Year
Embrace all that life has to offer. Learn a new skill, immerse yourself in a new culture, try a new recipe, and take the chance to love—but start with yourself. There are great stories to be found in the smallest moments. Don’t make resolutions; change your mindset. Make a bucket list, and whatever you don’t accomplish this year, roll over to next year.
Hopefully, you’ll make us part of your journey. So many things we’ve created have come from necessity or wanting to show love to those around us, even on an almost nonexistent budget.
I’ll share more as we go along, and hopefully, we can hear from you too. I was once asked what my hobbies were, and I said, “People.” I love learning from others—what are you passionate about? Show me; let me see it through your eyes.
One of the first things I learned from my best friend: “You know what you know, you know what you don’t know, and you don’t know what you don’t know.”
Let’s do life together and enjoy the journey along the way!
Happy New Year!
You deserve to be loved, appreciated, and to experience all that life has to offer, just the way you are. Say no to resolutions and yes to getting out of your own way.
What do you want to learn this year?